Signed in as:
filler@godaddy.com
Self-Care, Self-Improvement & Nurturing Life
Managing Chronic Illness
Self-Care & Nurturing Life = Flourishing
Whatever you want to call it - self-care, self-preservation, personal care, self-help, or as Traditional Chinese Medicine calls it Yang Sheng “Nurturing Life” - this practice acts as the foundation of our mental, physical and emotional health and wellbeing. We all have a responsibility to look after ourselves and cannot expect anyone to do it for us (unless you’re a wee nipper!). But having said that, we could all use a little guidance from time to time. It can take years to master self-care and get into good habits and routines which promote our wellness and happiness and this page, as well as all the pages in the Healing section, are dedicated to just that.
SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH
“Taking care of ourselves is the opposite of being selfish, as it strengthens us and enables us to support our loved ones better. We are no use to anyone if our energy is depleted because we have given every last bit of it away. Self-care is an antidote to stress, as it builds resilience so we can better cope with challenges.”
“Just think how they tell us to put on our oxygen mask first on an airplane before we help others. Yes, absolutely support others, but nurture yourself first.”(1)
Well said TinyBuddha!
Personal Development & Self-Improvement
When it comes to developing ourselves, self-care can sometimes be overlooked. Self-care helps us maintain mind & body wellness and vitality and avoid ill health. This directly contributes towards personal development and self-improvement - whether we mean it to or not - because through regular good habits and behaviours, we become the healthiest, happiest versions of ourselves who have the energy to be able to give back and contribute towards society and our communities. In a state of good health we are also able to develop as human beings - without health and a sense of vitality, this just isn’t possible. Chronic illness can be utterly consuming - as we discovered - all of your resources, time and energy dedicated to just getting through each day. It is important to do everything within our power to look after this vehicle / body which we have for this lifetime in order that we can get the most out of life. We very much believe in the phrase 'the body is a temple' and although you can have small treats and cheats every now and again, by and large, the majority of things we consume and the way we treat tour bodies should be with a view to improving / maintaining a state of wellness.
Chronic Illness - Why Us?
“Who Gets Sick & Who Doesn’t Is Not Accidental”
“...what I found in all those years (as a family physician and medical coordinator of a palliative care unit) ...learned all those years, that I hadn’t been taught in medical school, is that who gets sick and doesn’t is not accidental.”...“Who got sick and who didn’t wasn’t random. There were certain identifiable patterns, certain personality traits and ways of behaving that people unwittingly, without knowing it, unintentionally brought the disease on themselves. And that wasn’t their fault - they didn’t know what they were doing” - Dr Gabor Maté(2)
“Why do (behavioural) patterns translate into illness? ...because as traditional medicine has always understood and as Western science has now confirmed, mind and body are inseparable…the emotional sections in the brain are connected with the immune system, hormonal apparatus and the nervous system.” - Dr Gabor Maté(2)
Dr. Maté’s years of working closely with chronically ill patients taught him that some people are more likely to get sick more than others and why that is. But we all know this to be true on some level, from our own personal experiences. But genetic and environmental factors can also contribute and play roles in determining illnesses.
“The Good Die Young”
As Dr Gabor Maté states above, there are certain behaviours and attitudes common in chronically ill patients. One major trait is the habit or compulsion to put others needs and desires above your own, thus neglecting their own needs to the detriment of their health. Illness is an opportunity for self-growth and development, reevaluating your life, your priorities and learning to put yourself and your wellbeing above all else. Dr John Bergman discusses in this lecture on self talk, how we often treat and speak to ourselves more harshly than we realise. Become aware of your self talk, and learn how to listen to your body and it’s needs. Become comfortable with saying ‘no’ to others, taking yourself away from potentially damaging people and situations. Learn to be okay with staying in and looking after yourself, avoiding the wrong foods and temptations which will hinder your healing. Self-care is a skill which takes time to develop. Health, happiness & vitality come before everything else.
“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can change the quality of their lives by changing the attitudes of their minds.” – William James
We are all unique, we all have value and we all deserve health and happiness. No one deserves ill health or a chronic illness, ever!
5 Paths To Wellbeing
The 5 Paths to Wellbeing
Eudaimonia (noun) - Greek word commonly translated as happiness or welfare; however, "human flourishing or prosperity" and "blessedness" have been proposed as more accurate translations.
“The first study in the UK to measure well-being estimated that only 14% of the population has a high level of well-being, referred to as ‘flourishing’.”(1)
Taking action on the above statistic to try to improve the quality of life of the UK’s resident, The New Economics Foundations (NEF) was commissioned by the Government’s Foresight project on Mental Capital and Wellbeing to develop a set of evidence-based actions to improve personal wellbeing. They drew on a wealth of psychological and economic literature and evidence-based data, the outcome of which is the “5 Paths to Wellbeing”. We’ve expanded on each so they make more sense.
These paths are -
1 - Connect - surround yourself with positive people who share your interests and who you can relate to. Meet up to share your biggest loves. Get creative, dance, sing etc.
2 - Be active - humans did not evolve to lead sedentary lives, tied to desks and cooped up in offices. Get moving and get outside as much as humanly possible, even if it’s just to walk in your local parks
3 - Take notice - practice mindfulness
4 - Keep learning - whenever you can, work on your personal development and/or self-improvement to become the best version of yourself
5 - Give to others - as we discussed on the Happiness page, we are hard-wired for compassion and kindness.
“The concept of wellbeing comprises two main elements: feeling good and functioning well. Feelings of happiness, contentment, enjoyment, curiosity and engagement are characteristic of someone who has a positive experience of their life. Equally important for wellbeing is our functioning in the world. Experiencing positive relationships, having some control over one’s life and having a sense of purpose are all important attributes of wellbeing.”(1)
Their evidence reveals that what we do and the way we think have the greatest impact on our wellbeing.
What Self-Care Looks Like
What Does Self-Care Actually Look Like?
The mind-body medicinal practice of self-care comes in many forms and you’ll begin to automatically incorporate some of the below into your daily routines after a short time :). We’ve dedicated many pages on this site (in the Healing section) to these topics as they are the foundation stones of wellness -
1 - Being fully in and embracing the present —mindful living
2 - Preparing and eating healthy meals a day, avoiding sugar, gluten and dairy and any other foods which are detrimental to your health
3 - Getting outside every day, into nature if you can
4 - Exercising every day, even if it’s just yoga or stretching
5 - Doing something you enjoy and love every day—being creative
6 - Spending time with positive people who lift you up or inspire you
7 - Setting healthy boundaries—saying no more often
8 - Identifying negative self-talk and changing it to positive self-talk
9 - Looking after my health, body, skin, hair, teeth—regular appointments
10 - Practicing gratitude—starting each day with at least three things I am thankful for
11 - Regular yoga and meditation
12 - Laughing and smiling more often :)
13 - Singing or dancing whenever humanly possible
14 - Having more fun and taking life and yourself less seriously
15 - Treating yourself with love and compassion—being your own best, most caring and most reliable friend
16 - Focusing on yourself and prioritising your needs—not focusing on the lives of others
17 - Spending time alone and being still every day
18 - Being your authentic self, not what others want you or expect you to be
19 - Listening to your inner voice/intuition and doing what feels right for you - your gut instincts
20 - Avoiding over-analysing situations—this comes from practicing mindfulness regularly
21 - Limiting your social media time
22 - Not worrying about what other people think about you—what you think about yourself is the most important thing
23 - Sleep hygiene - get a good sleep every night
24 - Being patient with yourself
25 - Practising fasting regularly—for the physical health benefits and personal development benefits
26 - Working on your self-development—set yourself big but achievable challenges like making healthy, nutritious meals, learning to play an instrument, painting/drawing more often or learning another language